p o e m s

My love, you blot out the stars

And I in my arrogance

Will dream that I brought you here

Your fingerprints on the window

Your laughter shakes the walls

We are playing airplane

I am the child caught

On your knees, mid-flight, watching

The ghost of a distant leviathan crest

Beneath the waxing moon

OHD-TIA, December 22, 2023

In the back of my head

beneath the rug

There lives a stick-thin spirit

called guilt.

He raises hell on knobbly knees

whenever I fall short

And gets along with his neighbor

the old woman, regret

and her hound dog, judgement

Guilt is nervous and solitary

He will not eat

unless I remember to leave a bowl of rice,

an offering,

at his doorstep

We will make an agreement, he and I

Because I must love him, too

And love is sometimes an armistice

Because if I shut him in alone

He will gnaw the bed, the chairs, the wall

until he is all there is left of me

January 2024

I feel a kinship

With the cat

Who stands on the threshold

Neither in nor out

Because it wanted to poke

Its nose in

Without entering

And who, once inside,

Wishes to leave.

Cats are threshold creatures

There they dwell

And may cross at will;

The only thing

That might be dead and alive

At the same time

Until someone opens the box.

Autumn 2023

I envy the communism of ants

They know exactly where they're going

Brave little guys

Scouting out the counter inch by inch

I watch them touch antennae

In their long twitching service lines

(As a child I was sure

that they had secret passwords

so they would know which anthill

they belonged to)

Every one like the next, sexless, intrepid

I don't think they ever get lonely.

Late summer 2023

Winter was made to permit your sorrows

Let your wounds amass like cloistered snow

I cup in my hands the tap water blessing

The sullen sweet of cooking acorns

The bitterness leeches out

Winter 2023-24

There is rain falling on my porch

There are bombs falling on Gaza

I am watching it in yellow streetlights

I am watching the horizon glow of Gaza burning

Filmed across the sea

The sun has set here,

I taste chocolate and I will wake in the morning

To grey skies

Soon the dawn will break in Gaza

Where the sun will be greeted by raging fires

And the dead

and the dead.

October 27, 2023

I felt it on your off-white walls

Burning from your old flourescent cieling lights

In whimpering candlefire and

The kiss of dusk on spent storms

It refracts in miserable cobblestones, anemic lampshades,

Poorly bleached hair and last year's sweaters

and one lonely pair of hanging shoes.

The snow by contrast is stark and white

Betraying its newness on the aging stones

And I saw that it's a winter color

Not like buttercups or wine

Summer is for golden things,

Not books unbound by time

Or faded coats, stone walls at dusk,

Or wan and pale faces.

Crosswalks marred by city slush

reflect the sky from underfoot

The last dead leaves of summer trees

beg you to let the beauty dig you out

Flurries frozen midair by light

that whispers holy, holy, holy

Winter 2021-22

I do not know Desire

We have hardly met.

I could not pick her face out in a crowd.

All I know is that there must be someone, somewhere

Who will come with me to the desert

at the end of time,

When all of the lawns have died of thirst

And all the plastics, digested

by pill bugs.

I imagine the falling days

Bringing sweet rain,

And I could not bear to watch it

alone

Summer 2023

I will never begrudge a rainy day

The sky understands

That she, too, must close her eyes

from time to time

To sleep, or

to weep over dry lands

Green things are greenest in the rain

And the pavement can smell of earth

The air is soft, forgiving

These days are meant to be taken lightly;

Others roll by with the weight of ages

The revolution of the seasons

The fungal rebirth of the leaded sun

But on days like this

even the unknowable

must lay her brow on the earth

To breath it in

and remember what it means to rest

Autumn 2021

Cottonwood grove--

Where the desert lets down her hair

smells of damp sand

unusually wet roots, wood in water

Reawakened moss

Pinpoint sand rubies

in quartz and silicate

Granite by the creekbed worn to a metate

to grind the acorn ancestors

of the tree that shades our lunch

Leached in a creek that must have been running

With summer rain or winter melt

An oak can live three hundred years;

A saguaro two hundred

they may well remember

December 2023

Easy to grow obsessed with the after

because it passes over the in-between

The violence, the cataclysm, the apocalypse

Rapture is usually scheduled

We meet an appointed doom

Togeter, or alone, dealer's choice--

Let me look at my calendar

If time is never the same river twice

We are swimming upstream

And I am casting flies from a rowboat in the swimming hole

Revolution is not a fish.

February 27, 2024

In a jar on the shelf

in my kitchen

Are last year's linden flowers

Dried but sweet-smelling

And sometimes I am reluctant

To nourish habits

Equally so, reluctant

To nourish myself.

Even if the flowers I gathered

last summer, in fragrant June

From the waiting arms of Earth

And dried so patiently

Are just sitting there, waiting

A lover's gift deferred

By arrogance

and drought

Until I wake up one morning

With a tremor in my bones

And the world closing in on me

And I force myself to make tea

What could it be but a gift?

And what could I offer in return,

To the uncountable ancestors

who learned, with the trees,

To make one another whole

February 5, 2024

Did you know that pomegranate seeds make a dye bluer than indigo?

Osage, weld, and gorse, as gold as the sun

The masters of Rome burned cities for Tyrian purple; purpurea, they called it, the waves rising

A head-turning girl in sappanwood magenta, with her long black hair, turns down the village road;

Claret green and cochineal red

No corner of our world

In all of time

Has foregone color.

March 28, 2024